Embracing Invitation

For the past several years I’ve had one New Year’s Resolution: Make a Meaningful Connection with 100 People in a Year.

I’ve learned a lot over the past several years of widening my circle, like to pay attention to the people who are celebrating and join them. I’ve learned to also pay attention to those grieving and meet them there. I’ve learned that I have to hack the art of following up a bit, and help myself remember important things with scheduled texts and reminders.

I also learned that I was wrong when I thought people generally fell into two camps: the Invited and the Uninvited. There’s a third camp, actually, and I’m guessing this is where you fall too. I’m willing to bet that you are an Inviter.

Don’t believe me? What if I remind you that you bear the image of an Inviter? You were carefully crafted in the image of the One who left Heaven to come to Earth in order that you might enter in relationship with Him. That King in that Matthew 22 parable who sent invitation after invitation inviting people in to His great banquet, the Kingdom of Heaven? You look just like Him.

Embracing the idea that I’m an inviter changed everything for me, and I think it may for you too. Here’s how:

Embrace The Type of Inviter You Are

What type of inviter are you? Are you a “do you want to sit with me?” inviter? A throw a themed party inviter? A don’t mind the laundry baskets, come in and sit and chat and pop some microwave popcorn inviter? A little bit of all of them? Whatever type of inviter you are, we need you. Just like in 1 Corinthians 12, where Paul reminds us that the body doesn’t need a bunch of hands or eyes, but also hearts and toenails and belly buttons too.

Sometimes we can get caught up in our inviting looking like someone else’s. It might be matching linens and place cards and Insta-worthy appetizers, but it certainly doesn’t have to be. Ask yourself: “what do I wish I were being invited to right now?” Are you hoping to be invited to a big, clean house with a hostess who is consistently at her goal weight? I didn’t think so. But maybe you’re hoping to be invited to sit next to another mom at your kid’s basketball game. Maybe you’re hoping to be invited to a cozy book club with a handful of other women and store-bought snacks. Start there. The type of inviter the world needs you to be is likely the type on inviter you were hoping would scoop you up. Go first. Be the inviter.

Embrace Your Season of Invitation

I was so lucky to land amongst inviters right out of college. I’d joined a Bible study full of 20-somethings who didn’t know any better than to take turns hosting each other serving nachos and sugar cookies in our tiny first apartments. Gosh, that season of late nights sitting cross-legged on someone’s floor was sweet, but it doesn’t fit into my life anymore.

Now, inviting looks more like asking the mom sitting by herself at soccer practice if I can sit by her. It looks like ordering pizzas after a baseball game or making sure everyone knows where to meet and grab donuts after church. It looks like asking six couples if they want to meet up for Trivia night once a month and knowing only about two will be able to make it work.

If I thought an invitation was a homecooked meal on a Friday night I’d never invite anyone. Just like, how a few years ago, a lady’s lunch with my toddlers in tow would be a nightmare. Or how a crazy-late night sitting cross-legged on the floor has lost its appeal. We don’t have to squeeze inviting into our life. Instead, we consider our season and how we can better walk alongside those already here.

Embrace Going First

I know, I know, it’s so hard to go first. It’s so easy to look at that neighbor who’s been here longer, that mom with the older kids, that friend who seems to have it all together and think they should be the one going first. You could be right; they maybe should be the one to go first. But sister, you have what it takes, too. You have what it takes to invite people into your life in whatever capacity you choose. Recent surveys by the research origination YouGov, found that 58% of Americans identify as lonely. More of us are waiting to be scooped up than are doing the scooping. Embrace being the kind of inviter that goes first. There’s a huge risk of rejection when going first, but the reward is great, too: life is so much more fun when we’re connected.

So, keep going, you Inviter, you. You were made for it. Your people are out there, just waiting for an Inviter like you. Embrace it.

Amanda Wettersten is a wife, mom, and people-person. During a lonely season, Amanda pulled inspiration from her grandmother who once pulled out her church directory, started with the A’s, and slowly invited her entire church family to Sunday dinner. Amanda spun this idea into a One Hundred People Project, where she strives to make a meaningful connection with 100 people in a calendar year. Amanda loves sharing what she’s learned by way of practical ideas and inspiration on Instagram, on Facebook, and on her website amandawettersten.com.